I Used To Be A Heart Beating For Someone

“I used to be a heart beating for someone.” In case you don’t recognize this line, it’s a lyric from Elton John’s song, Philadelphia Freedom. I must have listened to this song hundreds of times since Elton wrote it in 1975 for his friend Billie Jean King, in honor of her tennis team, the Philadelphia Freedoms. But today was the first time that I really noticed this line and what it might mean.

On the surface, this is a song about the city of Philadelphia. 1975 was the year before the nation’s bicentennial. So, freedom and Philadelphia were on people’s minds, and the song fit right in. But the song is also about relationships.

I used to be a heart beating for someone
But the times have changed

It’s pretty obvious this line is about lost love.

Cause I live and breathe this Philadelphia freedom

How many times have you felt like you were free after the end of a relationship? I know that I’ve been guilty of that multiple times.

Oh Philadelphia freedom, shine on me, I love you
Shine the light, through the eyes of the ones left behind

And if you’re not convinced that the freedom that he loves is the freedom derived from walking away from bad relationships, here are some more lyrics.

If you choose to you can live your life alone
I like living easy without family ties

But the freedom is an illusion. Or freedom doesn’t imply happiness, as Elton so eloquently states later in the song.

I like living easy without family ties (living easy)
Till the whippoorwill* of freedom zapped me
Right between the eyes

Philadelphia Freedom
Songwriters: Bernie Taupin / Elton John
Philadelphia Freedom lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

______
* A whippoorwill is a North American songbird. It is known for its singing and its camouflage.

 

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Day 2 of 3 Lyrical Challenge

Thanks again to Paula for nominating me for this challenge.

For day two, I’ve chosen I’ll Never Fall In Love Again, by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. I think the lyrics to this song capture the “never again” feeling after the end of a failed relationship extraordinarily well. I love the metaphor of the burst bubble, the words about feeling pain and sorrow, the admonishment to friends offering consolation (“Don’t tell me what it’s all about, ’cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out!”), and especially the imagery from this part:

What do you get when you give your heart?
You get it all broken up and battered
That’s what you get a heart that’s shattered

Most of all, I like the optimism at the end of the song, acknowledging that “never” doesn’t really mean “never”.

What do you get when you fall in love?
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again

What do you get when you kiss a girl?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do she’ll never phone you
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again

Don’t tell me what it’s all about
‘Cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind you

What do you get when you give your heart?
You get it all broken up and battered
That’s what you get a heart that’s shattered
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again

Songwriters: Hal David / Burt Bacharach
I’ll Never Fall in Love Again lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

Here’s my favorite version of the song.

Personal note:
I played this song on the piano as a young boy. Here is the sheet music from that time, which I still have.

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Desperado

I was listening to the song Desperado this morning, and I realized that the lyrics seem to describe the plight of middle-aged dating. Don’t keep choosing the wrong type of person. Don’t be so selective. “You ain’t gettin’ no younger!” “You better let somebody love you, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!”

The irony is that it seems as people get older, they become more selective, not less selective. People want to learn from their mistakes. At least that’s what I am seeing in the women’s profiles I see online.

“Must love dogs.”
“Must want to travel the world”.
“If you don’t love jazz, then we are not a match.”
“Must be at least 5’11” tall.”
“Must be athletic and toned.”
“Must earn $150,000+.”
“Must play golf.”
“Must love to cook.”
“Must drive a motorcycle.”
“Must want to move to Seattle with me. Next month.”
“Must go ballroom/line/square/folk dancing with me.”
“You have to make me laugh every day.”
“I’m vegan, and you have to be too.”
“My ex loved The Beatles. If you listen to The Beatles, gaah! we are not a match.”
“My ex was named Steven! No more Stevens.”
“My ex was a software engineer! No more engineers.”
“Must wear glasses.” (Hey, found one that I qualify for!)

Ladies, listen to the song. Don’t be so selective that you rule out all the nice guys. Go for the king of hearts, not diamonds. As soon as one of you realizes that your laundry list of requirements is not so important, and you’re ready to let somebody love you, send me a note. Just be sure that you are between 5’0 and 5’8”; are Jewish or possible agnostic, but definitely not atheist; have a least a bachelor’s degree; live within 20 miles; have at most one dog or two cats, but not both; have a most two kids, the youngest of which is at least 18 years old; love to play board games, but not strategy games; like to watch TV, but not too much; and must love Linda Ronstadt’s cover of Desperado!

Nobody Says It Better

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Who has been in a relationship that you knew was wrong? And your friends knew it was wrong. But you kept going back, because it was so….right.

I started thinking about such past relationships while driving to work, as I was listening to my Carly Simon playlist, and the song “Jesse” came on. Very poignant lyrics to that song.

I have only a few of my own words to contribute to this post, because nobody says it better than Carly Simon. Just a little editing and rearranging Carly’s lyrics. The “he”s could be “she”s, depending on who is telling the story.

Annie, keep reminding me
That he cut out my heart like a paper doll
Sally, tell me once again
How he set me up just to see me fall

Jesse, quick come here
I won’t tell a soul
My friends will all say “She’s gone again”
But how can anyone know what you are to me?
That I’m in heaven again because you’ve come back to me!

My friends….they think I’ve sunk so low
LA LA LA, LA LA!
LA LA LA, LA LA!
LA LA LA, LA LA!!

Jesse, I will put on cologne
And sit by the phone for you
And sit by the phone for you
And sit by the phone for you

Oh mother, say a prayer for me.

Songwriters: Mike Jr Mainieri / Carly Simon
Published By Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

I Just Need Someone To Love

I’m trying something new for my dating site blurb. Instead of saying that I like to eat vegetarian food and sushi, and that I enjoy yoga, hiking, long walks, and board games, I thought I’d try something different. So here it is. I’ll probably change it back tomorrow.

I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends [1]

While this is true, and I am extremely grateful for my friends, I want something more.

I want somebody to love
I just need someone to love [1]

I see a lot of profiles that say something like this:

I am happy with my life, and I don’t need a romantic relationship. But, it would be a nice addition.

They say that a romantic relationship would be “dessert” or “icing on the cake” or “the cherry on top”. I don’t feel that way. For me, a romantic relationship, or what I’d prefer to call a primary relationship, is not dessert; it’s the main course. I want a partner who also wants a main course, who won’t think of me as dessert. I want to be the priority in her life, as she will be in mine. Friends, relatives, kids, they all have (or will have) their own families to keep them busy, who are their priorities. My partner is the person who will stand by my side through the remainder of my life, the person who will be there for me whenever I need her, the person who will always be available when I need to talk, the person who will pick me up if I fall. She will be my soft place to land. And I will be all these things for her.

Even though it’s likely been torn out and trampled on many times, as has mine, the partner I am looking for will be brave enough to wear her heart out on her sleeve, as I will with mine. She knows that it’s a big risk, but the potential payoff is what will make life worthwhile.

When we find each other, we will both want to say this:

You’re just too good to be true
I can’t take my eyes off you
You’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I’m alive
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off you [2]


[1] Lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
[2] Lyrics by Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

I Do Not Like Tinder

I tried in vain to set my search criteria on Tinder to find someone in my preferred age range of 50-57. Frustrated, I wrote a poem about it.

I Do Not Like Tinder

Tinder is
Not friendly to me
Not friendly at all
As you will see

You choose the age
For your match
You can choose a range
From min to max

Min can start low
Must be 18 by law
Min can start high
From 46 I saw

Max can go low
As low as 22
But I can’t set it precisely
To 51 or 52

The highest number allowed
Is only 49
Then it jumps to 55+
And they think that’s fine

50, 51, 52
53 and 54
All grouped together
With one hundred and four

I do not like Tinder
No thank you ma’am
I do not like Tinder
So old I am

ranges.png

 

Filtered Bumbling

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There is a new feature on the Bumble dating site called the filter. A filter allows users to overlay their profile photos with an image that expresses something about themselves. Since it’s election season, they’ve decided to inaugurate the new feature with images that indicate users’ political leanings.

For those who don’t know, Bumble is a swipe left/swipe right Tinder-like site. What makes Bumble unique is that once two members have swiped each other right, the woman must make the first move and contact the man. It’s the Sadie Hawkins of modern dating sites.

The various filters typically have a drawing of the preferred candidate, along with a few words that let the users express how they feel about supporting that candidate. For example, the Bernie Sanders filter unsurprisingly says, “Feel the Bern”.

These days, the time I spend on dating sites is mostly for entertainment purposes. And this new feature is entertaining, at least for a day. For me, I find it interesting to see what kind of women would choose to be on a site where they have to make the first move.

Typically, these are women who are career oriented. There is a larger than average percentage of women who have started their own business, such as yoga studio, reiki healing center, health spa, boutique, hair salon, restaurant, jewelry design, photobooth, donut shop, or green cleaning service. And, of course, there are those who, like on all the other dating sites, just describe themselves are “entrepreneur” or “self-employed”.

Apparently, Bumble also plans to collect data from these filters with their own Bumble poll, which of course will be cited on RealClearPolitics right next to the Rasmussen, Gallup, Pew Research, CNN, and Fox News polls. They have the potential to differentiate preferences of voters by many criteria, including gender, location, age, education, race, religion, and whether they love dogs.

I started looking through women’s profiles, and I was surprised at what I saw. A significant percentage of users applied the filters, maybe 20%. Of those women who used the filters, they all supported Cruz or Trump, and there were roughly an equal number of Cruz and Trump supporters. No Hillary, no Bernie. Who would have thought that powerful women in south Orange County would overwhelmingly align themselves with Cruz or Trump?

I want to show you what these filters look like. To protect the privacy of the other users on the site, I have tried them on for size with my own photo.

Here is “Feel the Bern.”

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For Hillary, there is “A woman’s place is in the White House”.

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For the Republicans, they have “Cruz’n for a bruisin’.”

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And of course “Don’t be a chump. Vote for Trump.”

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There are also the generic “I’m voting Republican” and “I’m voting Democrat”. By the way, I am offended by the latter one. “Democrat” is a noun. The adjective is “Democratic”. Saying “I’m voting Democrat” is like saying “I’m voting Jew.” Or in Bernie Sanders’ case, “I’m voting Jew Democrat”.

Finally, here is my favorite.

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